In a symbolic twist, the satirical news outlet The Onion has acquired the very platform that once spread the conspiracy theory that the Sandy Hook mass shooting was a hoax—a move reportedly backed by the families of the tragedy’s victims.
Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce P. Tetraeder, in a characteristically tongue-in-cheek statement on The Onion’s website, explained that the decision to buy InfoWars was an “easy one” for the satirical site’s parent company. He called the infamous platform “an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses.”
“InfoWars has consistently demonstrated a commitment to manufacturing outrage and radicalizing society’s most vulnerable—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron,” Tetraeder wrote, adopting The Onion’s trademark satire. “No price would be too high for such a treasure trove of manipulable minds. Fortunately, a determined special interest group managed to outwit the hapless InfoWars owner (a man with a forgettable name) and scored the acquisition at a fraction of its true worth: under a trillion dollars.”
While Tetraeder joked about future plans for InfoWars—including philanthropy initiatives like “business school scholarships for aspiring cult leaders, a charity that ‘donates’ elections to at-risk third-world dictators, and a free orphan labor program”—The New York Times offered a more serious preview. According to their report, Everytown for Gun Safety, a nonprofit founded after the Sandy Hook massacre, will soon relaunch InfoWars under The Onion’s ownership.
This acquisition marks another consequence for Alex Jones, the founder of InfoWars, after years of spreading conspiracy theories. In 2022, juries in Connecticut and Texas ordered Jones to pay $1.487 billion in damages to the families of Sandy Hook victims. Following the ruling, Jones filed for bankruptcy, and later that year, Free Speech Systems, InfoWars’ parent company, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.
In 2024, a court-appointed trustee moved to liquidate InfoWars, a request that was approved in September and led to two auctions for InfoWars and Free Speech Systems, culminating in the satirical publication’s bold acquisition.
